Becoming Shapeless - Bodywork in California

End of August I arrived in Petaluma, the North Bay Area of California and one hour north of San Francisco. I took a break from travelling for a month and was very lucky to find a nice quiet place outside the city. I visited two seminars at the Strozzi Institute on Embodied Learning and Leadership and for the first time also started taking Aikido classes.

While my trip before then has been much around reconnecting to my past and roots, visiting family and friends and about being in Nature, my stay in California was very much about exploring the being in the presence - mainly about paying attention to the body, on bodily conditioned patterns we develop over time, practices and movements. Spending the last weeks in Petaluma and the Strozzi ranch has been quite an impacting and uplifting experience, as it has helped me to integrate different embodied energies and enhance body-mind integration. At one point in the middle of the seminar I remember waking up the next day and having the sensation of feeling ‘shapeless’. As it was mentioned to us the next day “some might feel shapeless as they are moving away from one shape – their conditioned patterns to a new shape”.

My trip to Petaluma was totally unplanned, my plan was to go from Istanbul straight to India and from there spend the last months in Brazil. End of July I felt a strong pull to get in touch with the Strozzi Institute and explore the possibilities, the conversations went that well that I spontaneously booked a flight and changed plans to visit India in October. It seemed to be exactly what I needed to bring my previous experiences and reflections nicely together.

I find it rather difficult to articulate all of that in an easy comprehensible way, given that most of what I am talking about was a “felt experience in the body” in the realm of body and emotional intelligence as opposed to insights and understanding in the realm of mind intelligence. The work of the last couple of weeks has also showed me how much I still use to live in my head and how difficult it is to let go of my ‘mind habits’ even after all the somatic experiences and practices of the last year that helped me so much already in becoming more body aware and intuitive, I still feel the distance and continuous path to full integration.

Aikido Magic at the Strozzi Dojo

For the month, that I am staying in Petaluma, CA, I am going to Aikido classes 3 times a week and absolutely love it. Last week after class, I wrote down the following ...

I experienced Aikido today like music making, as vibrant, flowing, dynamic and magic.
I had this experience of forgetting about my body and just connecting my centre and energy to somebody elses centre and energy....exploring this with curiousity, like tuning an instrument to find the right tone, I tuned in to another persons vibration to find the right tone, to create movement. Not my arms or legs were making the moves and leading the person to the ground but my energy coming from the centre which hit the right tone and found alignment in and with someone else. When this tone was hit and alignment found, it was easy to move the other to the ground without hardly moving your arms or using any strenghts, just coming naturally from your centre of gravitas, your hara or source.

To cope with the moves, I had to almost forget my limbs and focus on my centre and energy flow and welcome the other, connecting to the other persons energy flow (ki). Let the body move as it wanted to move. An amazing experience of intuition and Ki.

There was a lot of magic in my Aikido class, I learned a lot today taking on moves that looked so damn hard. Its amazing how all these experienced teachers and blackbelt practitioners were taking care of me, with much patience letting me experience the moves and also allowing me to try these on them, with the right amount of exploration and guidance, always reminding me to recenter as the core strenghts and reconnect to the flow of the other, feeling into his body, his spine, almost anatomically moving down within the "opponents" body. The more welcoming, accepting, relaxed and connected I was with the other, the more powerful the moves and the falls. The one falling then experienced me as gentle and almost warm towards them, holding in a way but also very powerful in executing the moves.


Aikido is the "Way of Peace," or "Way of Unifying Life Energy" a martial art aimed at harmonizing the body and spirit with the natural forces of the universe. (The Secrets of Aikido, John Stevens). Ai means "to come together, to blend, to join, to harmonize" and ki, which has different meanings but in this context means "spirit" or "disposition".

Aiki as the universal principle that brings all together, reflects the grand design of the cosmos, the union of body mind and spirit and to live together in harmony in a state of mutual accord.
Morihei Ueshiba - the founder of Aikido had a vision of aiki that corresponds closely to to the notions of integritas (wholeness) and consonantia (harmony) in Western Philosophy. Integration between - between body and spirit, self and other, humankind and nature, truth and beauty - is a condition that all people should strive for, and integrity is a moral state as well: those who are whole can act in the best and fairest manner.

Reading this lines again - I feel like Aikido is the context for my stay in California and beyond, as everything that I experience, I find in Aikido and everything that I learn and notice in Aikido, I see show up in life. There is invaluable learning in the moves and the relationship with one another that I experienced in the dojo, that I am looking to integrate into my everyday life. Looking forward to contiuinng the practice in London.

Aikido Magic

I experience Aikido today like music making, as vibrant, flowing, dynamic and magic.

I had this experience of forgetting about my body and just connecting my centre and energy to somebody elses centre and energy....exploring this with curiousity, like tuning an instrument to find the right tone, I tuned in to another persons vibration to find the right tone, to create movement. Not my arms or legs were making the moves and leading the person to the ground but my energy coming from the centre which hit the right tone and found alignment in and with someone else. When this tone was hit and alignment found, it was easy to move the other to the ground without hardly moving your arms, or using any strenghts, just coming naturally from your centre of gravitas, your hara and source.

To cope with the moves, I had to almost forget my limbs and focus on my centre and energy flow and welcoming and connecting to the other persons energy flow. Let the body move as it wants to move. An amazing experience of intuition and Ki.

There was a lot of magic in my Aikido class today and I thought you might like to read about it ;) I learned a lot today taking on moves that looked so damn hard. Its amazing how all these experienced teachers and blackbelt practitioners were taking care of me, with much patience letting me experience the moves and also allowing me to try these on them, with the right amount of exploration and guidance, always reminding me to recenter as the core strenghts and reconnect to the flow of the other, feeling into this body, his spine, almost anatomically moving down within the "opponents" body. The more welcoming, accepting, relaxed and connected I was with the other the more powerful the moves and the falls.The one falling experiences me as gentle and almost warm towards them, holding in a way but also very powerful in executing the moves.

Visiting the UK: Storytelling, Dancing, Social Transformation and wonderful Nature

End of June I returned to the UK to visit friends and a couple of interesting events, such as the story telling weekend in Embercombe which I wrote about earlier, a 5 day retreat in East Sussex called Bodysong: Dance, Bodywork and reunion with the Feminine and a weekend with Don Beck and Spiral Dynamics in Action to create a vision for an Integral Brittannia.
I also took the chance to take some time off from London, visiting a friend in Shropshire and going camping in Wales' stunning Nature.


View Part II: UK in a larger map

Exploring ShinSomatics in East-Sussex
A friend of mine introduced me to various somatic practises who are coming from performing dances and bring a more feminine approach to body work, e.g. Sondra Fraleigh's work in Somatic Movement Tharapy and Education and ShinSomatics (in contrary to other somatic practises coming from the more masculine traits of martial arts - mainly Aikido).

I got hooked very quickly. The promise of the retreat, to tune in to my intrinsic creativity, connecting with powerful femal energy, deepen my mindbody wisdom through an embodied experience of the natural world, healing dances and an experience of transformation through gentle hands-on bodywork was definitly something I didn't want to say no to...Having been there, I am now considering to pursue this work further to become a certified practitioner myself.

Coming straight from the beautiful spot in Devon, I arrived at the rolling hills of the South Downs in Firle, East Sussex. The old house we gathered in, was right next to the famous Charleston Farm, which used to be a meeting place for artists and intellectuals such as Virginia Wolf and known as the Bloomsbury Group. Our Georgian country house called Tilton House, had its own very fitting story to tell. During the time of the Bloomsbury group gathering, it was inhabited by a famous balley dancer Lydia Lopokova from Russia, who was said to sometime be watched dancing naked on the loan during full moon.

The week was in particular special as it gave me a new experience of sensing and comprehending through the body which is rather hard to conecptualise or articulate in words. We didn't move or exercise a lot but it seems the subtle movements and hands-on work had quite an effect on all of us - organising and reorganising the body. Early evenings we were exhausted and to bed early every night. Coming out of the week I did feel I got a lot more sensitised to different people's body presence and energy, allowing myself to be more intuitive with others and more present.

Being back in London, at Don Becks grand seminar, I found it rather tiring to only operate from the head again, looking at theories, discussing big issues and sitting back to back in a room facing a lot of monologues. Shropshire and Wales were a welcoming change and seeing Snowdonia's National Park totally exceeded my expectations! The pic below with the lake is at Tal-Y-Llyn and the camp I stayed at was called CWMRHWYDDFOR Farm Camp!!! Any ideas how to pronounce that?

Moko in Wales from mokoflip on Vimeo.

Moko on the move – finding my “body way”

Before I left the UK, Claire – my dancing complice in spirit – and I were joking that I will dance around the world and through my sabbatical, discover all these new dances. As much as we had a good laugh imagining myself dancing across the boarders it is true that my travel and intentions for the sabbatical are also very much focused around exploring the “the move”.

I always enjoyed the dance and even more so when I grew older. The last year I discovered more to dancing and body movements than just an activity every once in a while when going out with friends and ending up dancing till the morning. Dancing and different types of body work (somatic practises) make me become more fully present and alive, my energy is expanding and it easily infects others with a wave of positive energy.

Besides the great energy it produces, I noticed that dancing and conscious body movements help me to better ground myself to let go and feel more centred in my everyday life. Movements and dance can help to leave behind longstanding habits, to be fully in the moment and change one’s conditioned responses into conscious, intentional actions.

The Embodied Presencing workshop with Arawana Hayashi (called Making a True Move) earlier this year was one of my best and most profound experiences in this regard. It is basically an exploration of your intuitive body, becoming more present in the moment (great mindfulness practise) by tuning in to your body, letting it flow the way it wants to and at times get even surprised by it. The movements are done mostly in silence and are not following any particular choreography other than your own particular rhythm, pace and finding your balance between individual experience and the experience with another (in duet or group). The movements are all with an appreciation and consideration of maintaining a balance between rest and movement (same as in music there is this interplay between sound and silence). After these 2 days, I connected with Amy and Chris with the intention to continue this beautiful practise and we continued meeting regularly, building an embodied presencing practise in London.

The picture above is from our last session in London with Amy, Chris and Marc. I miss the group and the practise and hope to continue with it as I travel, some of its elements though I found in Nia dancing which I am going to twice a week now in Budapest.

When I was in a Scottish small village this spring I was taken along to Nia dancing the first time - it was introduced to me then as dancing yoga. I was amazed how much fun it was and the great energy it brought about. This dance draws from dance arts, martial arts and healing arts to create purposeful movement and is always danced with great rhythmic music that would probably have you swing even in the tube ;) It is pure pleasure, engaging your body, mind and emotions in a very expressive and playful wa and inspires to continue dancing through life afterwards.

I gradually see and experience more and more how every movement in life is a dance.

And last piece of dance deliciousness on my travel is French Breton Dancing which is a great experience of dancing in and with a community. There is a big French Dance festival in Gennetines in mid July that I am hoping to go to for a week. French Breton Dancing was introduced to me by Richard, a tree surgeon from New Zealand who kindly offered a free class to us. It is danced with beautiful – mostly live played- music (listen to this) using string instruments, the accordion and is danced in pairs and groups – smaller of e.g. 4 and larger groups that could fill a hall.